UP

I just finished watching Up the movie. Yes I know, it’s been three years since it premiered, but I’ve only gotten to watch now and may I say... it’s truly the very definition of "nothing is at it seems".

I don’t know where to start... Ah, it was just so beautiful really. It portrayed the important values of family, loyalty, love to animals (yes, I loooove Doug), respect for the living and dead, and eternal love.

I just...Wow. For an animated movie made for kids who have the emotional capacity of – well, you know what I’m talking about! I mean... The story and the emotional impacts are both complex... It makes you sad yet happy. And that right there is the most complex emotion ever imaginable. A sad happiness is the most painful yet the most fulfilling... and there’s nothing quite like it.

And I feel it now not just because of the movie. I just realized that the movie only heightened my poignant happiness because that’s how I feel. That’s basically what I've felt for quite a while now.

Leaving for New Zealand has long been an expected leave. My parents have been planning this for quite a while now. But I’ve never faced the fact that I would have to leave everything behind... And this is where my sad joy comes from.

Yes, to admit, the thought of leaving is very unbelievable and sudden and quite depressing, but still... Somehow I’d like to feel happy to say goodbye to everyone, to everything. I want to see them smile at me and wish me luck because I’d want that for them. I don’t want tears or piercing looks that will give me too much heartache to think about. No. I just want everyone to be happy.

Another reason why I’d want that in the first place is because he’s given me a reason to be. And when I say he, I mean ‘he’. Because even if I’m leaving, he’s always there to reassure me that I’ll have a reason to come back here. That he’ll always be here to wait for my return. That he’s not promising it, but it’s something that “must be done.” And it breaks my heart but simultaneously reforms it when he tells me that he’ll pray that I’ll come back for him, that nothing will change, and that when I come back everything will be as it is now.

So this movie... Just pushed me in the brink of tears primarily because it’s just so freakin’ sweet for a child’s movie...but also because it makes me realize that what I have with me, and that what a blessing he is to me, lift me up. 

-rashiyu