Most ____ Birthday Ever (Unfinished)

It’s hard being in the verge of tears so many times in just one day. Saying that it’s “emotionally straining” is an understatement. It’s torture, man. It takes the breath out of you. Often you find the release irresistible, but today I somehow managed to keep it all in, and save it for the writing that I’m doing now.

So.

Today is my birthday.

That’s just it. Simply. Today is my birthday. Today WAS my birthday.

I don’t mean to sound bitter, but I’m sorta glad it’s almost over.

Before anything else, I want to express how thankful I am for another trip around the massive sun, for not dying, for getting older and for simply having a birthday. It’s sad that the celebration is almost over now (not that there was much of a celebration to begin with). It’s also a relief.

I can’t help it. More than be happy, I am SO SAD. I feel so ALONE. I feel detached from the people most important to me. It’s so unfair that I can’t spend and share this special day with them.

This morning I woke up, and watched a video that my bestfriend, Rosheil, posted on FB for me. At first she was just greeting me with the blue fish I gave her when we were in High School, chastising me about my eating habits and my dieting, and telling me to watch out for boys. I laughed, but my heart ached. I have not seen her for more than a year. I never even saw her before I left. I miss her. After her message, she sang with her most beautiful voice that I’ve terribly missed hearing. There was even a short summary of our friendship, of how she never really liked me at first, and then we started accepting each other, and that’s how we became the friends we are now. I cried then. I woke up to my birthday, and I cried, smiling awkwardly, thinking of her, both happy and sad. That’s not how you’d usually wake up to your birthday, but she made it really special for me this year, no matter how far she is. She is a gift. Her being is a blessing that I can’t possibly exchange for anything else. And I love her.

So, afterwards, I got to school, and guess what? I got an Excellence and a Merit for my English Achievement standards. What a way to start a Monday. I never even prepared for those exams. I can only thank God for giving me that blessing. He must have felt sorry for me. Oh, well. Hahaha.

Not many people knew it was my birthday today. But to those in school who greeted me, I appreciate it. Really. Those simple “happy birthdays” meant so much to me. I think only about five people greeted me...compare that to 200+ wallposts on FB, from friends around the world. 

I had study for my last period, but the Library was closing early (I don't fcking know why), and I thought "What the hell?" I went to the back of the school, to the parking lot, and got my ass out of there. Yep. I ditched school. Or as they say here, I "wagged".  Talk about a rule-breaker 18-year-old. I can hear it now: "Just cause you're legal doesn't mean you can ditch school!" But I never got caught. >:D


So anyway, I bought some pizza, went to my Bisaya friend's house, and we chilled there. Soon my parents picked us up, and after an hour at home, we went out to go eat dinner somewhere. I was shocked when they told me we were going to a Chinese Restaurant. But they mentioned duck, and I've never had duck, so I was like, "Meh, whatever. Let's go eat some duckies."


It was SO GOOD, man. SRSLY. Chinese food is the SHT!!! Too oily though, and I got weezy at some point, but it was still really gooooood and the duck tasted pretty much like Lechon Manok although with a slightly different texture to the meat(?). Oh well, I'm no food critic, but damn that was some good duck. I will never look at ducks the same way again. 

          

*I apologize for posting an unfinished blog. Will resume writing process tomorrow.