Shallow Grandparent

Y'know what sucks more than no internet?


A shallow grandparent who's 50 years older than you but has the maturity size of a peanut. Yeah, you heard me right. A fcking peanut. 

I mean, seriously. I'm not joking.


First of all, she buys all these expensive stuff that she can hardly afford just so she can  throw down her officemates and boast about it. Seriously. What's the logic of buying a Guess bag worth 8,000 pesos so she can, I don't know, use it twice or thrice a year because she doesn't want it to get it damaged? Or buying an LG Android worth 12,000 fcking pesos so she can put it on the meeting table and NOT KNOW HOW TO USE IT? Yes. Very logical, indeed. Of course she would need to know how to play music (how 'bout some Abba, huh?) and have earphones blasting through her already weakened ears, or better: she could twitpic a picture of her and Fr. Jett... Oh, wait, she doesn't know how to use the camera, either. Well, maybe she just wants to play some Fruitslice or TapTapRevenge while her students do the reporting for her. She's gotta looooove to slice some fruit because she hardly cooks decent meals at home anyway. And I won't forget her Videocamera that she hardly uses because, *ding ding ding ding ding!* you guessed it, she doesn't know how to use it! 


Secondly, everytime I have some new, obviously fake but undeniably cute jewelry, she asks me: "Is that Silver? Whitegold? Is it true?" Like WTF?! Obviously, they're not. OBVIOUSLY I can't AFFORD real jewelry because, if she hasn't figured it out yet, I don't have a job and my parents are practically working their asses off in New Zealand to give me a decent education (and completely awesome shoes)! So of course, NO, they're not REAL. They're probably stainless steal or some other metallic crap that rusts easily, but hey, I don't care. And it's probably because I don't need to wear money on my ears or on my neck. I don't have the luxury to show off some fcking jewelry just so I could make my friends jealous. SO EXCUSE ME FOR BUYING FAKE JEWELRY BECAUSE I THINK THEY LOOK CUTE. 


And last not but definitely not the least, she is an immature, shallow, and very annoying grandmother because she wouldn't let me bring the freakin' Smartbro Wifi to Surigao. Oh yes. It's not like we don't actually PAY for it every month, right? Sure, it's in her name, sure, but that doesn't mean she can horde it because she wants to learn how to use FACEBOOK! FUCKIN' FACEBOOK! Oh yeeeeeah. She absolutely must have the Wifi because she desperately neeeeds to learn how to post statuses and pictures or else it will be the end of the world!... Right. Well, I left it on the keyboard in pieces, so good luck to her trying to figure it out. 


So yes, you can be appalled by my extreme dislike of my peanut-brained Lola... But that won't change anything. I respect her, and I'm grateful that she gave me my awesome mother, but I'm sorry. Living with someone like that can grate your patience. Grandparents are supposed to be humble, selfless, down-to-earth and really really nice that they give you milk and cookies (and money)...but unfortunately... I'm stuck with one that has the maturity level of a 10-year-old and the selfishness of Uncle Scrooge or some other old guy who will get mad at you if you step on his yard and then curl a shaky fist at ya.


What she needs to do is grow up. Because, let's face it, *knocks on wood* she doesn't have much time left to. And it's already WAY overdue.


-rashiyu